Sociology 101 - Attraction is not a choice. Course prerequisites: Anthropology 101, Philosophy 101
Professor: Pirate

Attraction. Why do you find one man attractive, and another not? Why does the wonderful guy go for your girlfriend, and leave you standing there alone? What is this force of nature that brings people together?

Back to genetics (ugh). Once again our genes are pulling the strings here. We don't choose who we are attracted to on a conscious level. Personally, I sure wish I could! I have met some fantastic women who I would count myself absolutely blessed to have in my life - but my damned genes did not find them attractive and so... My genes have their own evil designs to propagate themselves, and find it unnecessary to consult me on any level. By experience they have determined exactly the kind of woman I should mate with to keep their particular strain of humanity alive and well for posterity. I have blonde hair and blue eyes, for example. Mendelson genetics tells us both traits are recessive, that they are less likely to occur if I mate with a Latin beauty with dark hair and eyes. So my genes (oh how I hate them!) have selected Latin girls to be off my menu. I have ordered new genes on eBay, hopefully they will arrive this week...

So for men, it is really all about selecting a physical match that will propagate our genes to our offspring. But for women, it gets really, really complex. (See, men really ARE simple!)

A woman's genes are indeed concerned with propagating themselves to their offspring. But in addition, they are also concerned with selecting a mate that has high survival value. Girls, notice how a certain type of man looks good to you? That's the genes looking to propagate themselves. But in the overall female picture, your genes are more concerned with survival than with exact replication. That is why looks are just a small percent of attraction for you.

What are characteristics of survival value? Well, welcome to another can of worms. In Anthropology 101 you were exposed to the idea that we are attracted to types based on geographical criteria. Same here. A northern nomad had to have a different skill set to survive than an equatorial island homebody. What YOU are determines the skill-set your genes are looking for survival value. We are putting together a book on this subject right now, but in the meantime you can probably ferret out the details yourself if you just do a bit of thinking and perhaps some research.

I will tell you a bit about me to make a few points however. I don't care much about money, I travel around on a boat, can fix or build anything including shelters, can forage for food successfully anywhere, can hunt (though I am a harmless vegetarian now), and am completely self-sufficient. Notice the northern nomad in me? An equatorial village man would have more need of money (or barter goods to trade), would have no need of skills to build or fix things (labor is spread around), and would have to have better social skills to get along in his village than I would need in the tundra with the snow. An equatorial woman would find me unsuitable, as I have no money or social status in her village. But a nomad would find me irresistible, because I am entirely suited for her survival.

Where are you in this mix? Have you already determined your geographic genetic setup? If not, some powerful clues will be found in the things you value in a man...